Imagine you are preparing for the biggest job interview of your life. You have diligently researched this company; you know why you are an asset to this company; the usual interview preparation. The interview goes really well; you await the phone call. You receive the news that another candidate was selected for the role. What’s your next thought–it could be more important than you think. At this moment, you may say something to yourself like, “I don’t know why I try; I'll never get a job I like.” Responses like this one is an example of negative self-talk.
What exactly is negative self-talk? Negative self-talk is when your “inner voice” becomes overwhelmingly critical, excessively negative and is more like an inner critic. These types of thoughts can be taxing, overwhelming, and even deterring. Negative self-talk says, “I never do anything right.” or “I will never succeed”. Sound familiar?
Consistent negative self-talk has been shown to increase the likelihood of developing conditions such as anxiety and depression. It also can increase stress levels and reinforce perfectionist-like attitudes.
All this talk of negative self-talk leaving you feeling a little–negative? Don’t worry! There are ways to address negative self-talk to turn down the voice of the inner critic.
The most important step to address these critical moments is to catch the thought. This step will require you to be more cognizant of your thought life; catch those critical thoughts.
Another step is to recognize that thoughts are not necessarily facts. It is difficult for our thoughts/opinions to be objective. Don’t be afraid to put your “thoughts on trial”. When you experience a critical thought, process the evidence for and against it.
Next, after you identify a negative thought, try and turn it into a more neutral statement. For example, negative self-talk says, “I will never get a job I like”, but a more neutral statement is “I didn’t get this job that I like”.
Negative self-talk can almost seem like the default. It seems like we experience the negative thoughts quicker than the positive ones. Reshaping our thought life is hard, but you’ve got this! Be patient with yourself as you address your inner critic; some days are going to be easier than others. Instead of viewing this process as an “all-or-nothing”, recognize that we have a new opportunity to try again next time.
References
New Year’s Resolutions May be Harmful to Your Mental Health... 5 Things to Do Instead - Foundation Wellness. (2021). Foundation Wellness. https://foundationswellness.net/mental-health/new-years-resolutions-harmful-to-your-mental-health-5-things-to-do-instead/#:~:text=%5BIndeed%5D%2C%20focusing%20on%20problems
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