It's the time of the year where many are wishing others a happy holiday season, where many are out shopping and spreading holiday cheer. Holiday music and decorations seem to be everywhere. However, let’s be real, not everyone experiences happiness during the holidays. Do you feel like this is your reality? A reality that includes feelings and emotions such as loss and grief. A reality that makes it hard to celebrate or spread holiday cheer. If so, know that you are not alone.
While our normal inclination is to associate grief with the loss of an individual or loved one, grief can include more. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) define grief as a normal response to loss during or after a disaster or other traumatic event. It is important to note that there are multiple types of grief or loss. According to Litsa Williams you could experience a non-death loss, a secondary loss, losing someone who’s still living or an ambiguous loss, a cumulative loss, loss that may last indefinitely or a nonfinite loss, an anticipatory loss, or disenfranchised grief (feeling as if you’ve been denied the ability to grieve). For instance, have you lost your job, experienced any health-related changes or loss of abilities, are you still struggling with the “new normal” created because of the recent pandemic? If you answered, yes to any of those questions, you have experienced a loss that you could be grieving. So, losing someone to a relationship breakup or divorce, counts as a loss or an experience that results in grief.
As the CDC said in their definition, your grief is a normal response to the event that you have experienced. Again, know that you are not alone but if you feel as if you are, here are a few suggestions that may help.
Give yourself grace. Grieving is an individual process, not everyone experiences it the same. Remember denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are the stages of grief but they don’t always occur in a linear fashion. Allow yourself time to process and feel. Don’t rush it!
Spend time with others. If you’re able, try to get out and spend time with friends or family members. If you don’t have anyone, try looking for groups in your area with individuals who have similar interests. Check in to platforms like Meetup or investigate local organizations that may offer support groups (a quick Google search may help here). Consider volunteering, finding a spiritual community to connect with, or reaching out to that person you haven’t had the chance to meet up with in months.
Create New Memories/Try Something New. If you feel up to it, try something new. For example, if you’re used to going to see the Christmas lights with the significant other that you just broke up with, try going with friends instead. Or is there an event that you’ve always wanted to attend but never been able to? Attend the event! Create those memories!
Seek Therapy. Find someone who is qualified to help you with your grieving journey. If you have insurance coverage, you can reach out to them to verify benefits and to get help finding in-network therapists. If you don’t have insurance, there is no need to worry. Psychology Today is a great tool, or you can do an internet search of the therapists in your area. Many therapists accept self-pay and some even offer a sliding-scale.
No matter what type of grief you are experiencing this holiday season, do not hesitate to seek help. Create new relationships or memories. Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. Most importantly, remember that you are not alone!
“Grieving doesn’t make you imperfect. It makes you human.” -Sarah Dessen
References
Bendaña, A. (2017). Coping with grief during the holidays. Nursing, 47(11), 54–56. https://doi.org/10.1097/01.nurse.0000525991.36485.1b
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2022, September 6). Grief and loss.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved November 27, 2022, from https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/grief-loss/index.html
Larry Stansbury Contributing Writer Larry Stansbury is a writer whose work has appeared in POPSUGAR. (2022, November 18). 25 powerful grief quotes to get anyone through the Hard Times. Woman's Day. Retrieved November 30, 2022, from https://www.womansday.com/life/g37793747/grief-quotes/
Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (n.d.). What is grief? Mayo Clinic. Retrieved November 27, 2022, from https://www.mayoclinic.org/patient-visitor-guide/support-groups/what-is-grief
Tan, J., & Andriessen, K. (2021). The experiences of grief and personal growth in university students: A qualitative study. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(4), 1899. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18041899
Williams, L. (2021, March 1). 7 types of grief you should know right now. Whats your Grief. Retrieved November 30, 2022, from https://whatsyourgrief.com/types-of-grief-2/
Comments