Humans are thinkers; we are hardwired to recognize patterns and to analyze our surroundings. Let’s face it, humans are good at thinking about thinking. The average person has anywhere from 6,000-12,000 thoughts a day! Depending on what we encounter throughout our day, we may think: “what's for dinner?” or “will they ever find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?!”. These thoughts are pretty trivial, comical even. But let’s talk about thoughts that don't get mentioned as much. Let’s talk about experiencing suicidal thoughts; they may be more common than you think. We are a little more than halfway through 2023, and data suggests in these 9 months approximately 4% or 12.1 million Americans endorse having some form of suicidal thought. In recent years, the topic of suicide has brought with it increased awareness; even celebrities like Drew Barrymore and Elton John publicly talked about their experiences with suicidal thoughts. Despite this, misinformation about suicide continues to be spread. Below are three myths about suicide:
Myth # 1: Asking someone about suicidal thoughts makes things worse.
At first glance, talking with someone about suicidal thoughts may seem like it brings those thoughts to the forefront of the mind, and causes thoughts to persist. Actually, research suggests the exact opposite. If someone tells you they are experiencing suicidal thoughts, consider thanking them for trusting you.
Myth # 2: Just remain positive.
Refrain from using phrases like, “just stay positive, things will get better!” While it can be tempting to respond this way to deflect from our own discomfort, this “cheerleader” type response is rarely helpful. If anything, this can cause the person to feel guilty or ashamed. It could send the message that if they just thought more happily or changed their perspective, the thoughts of suicide would cease.
Myth # 3: Someone having suicidal thoughts means they will attempt suicide or die by suicide.
Simply because someone endorses suicidal thoughts does not mean that individual will die by suicide or even attempt. There is a plethora of mental health resources available for someone experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Mental health professionals are best equipped to help someone process something as complex as suicidal thoughts. However, do not underestimate the impact you may have in someone’s life. When someone reaches out for support, it is not about advice giving or sharing some philosophical quote. It is about reminding them that you’re listening and that you care.
To the person reading this, you matter. :)
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts and would like immediate mental health support, please consider contacting any of these resources:
● The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline– Call or text 988 for 24/7 support
● Richmond Behavioral Health Authority Crisis Line: 804-819-4100
● Local Community Services Board Crisis Lines:
- Hanover County: 804-365-4200
- Chesterfield County: 804-748-6356
- Henrico County: (804) 727-8484
References:
Sommers-Flanagin, J. (2018). Conversations about suicide: strategies for detecting and assessing suicide risk. Journal of Health Service Psychology, 44, 33-45.
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